I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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