I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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