CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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