Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Randomize
