why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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