Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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