i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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