I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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