Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
