I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
