Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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