i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
