Your face is a jimmy john
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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