it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
