He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
