Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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