i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize