Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
