Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
