He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
there was a trapeze. enough said
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
