Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
