It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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