She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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