don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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