If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
