PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
