cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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