pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
