I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
