dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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