Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
