I puked a lego.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
