I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She's the barista slut.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
