Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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