a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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