this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
