can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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