Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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