wake up i wanna do it froggy style
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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