i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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