Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
