My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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