So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
