I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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