i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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