It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
