It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
