He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
