At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
