grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
