Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
