You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
