Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
