YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
