shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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