but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
