Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
