You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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