She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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