Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
