After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
