i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
