gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
