thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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