There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
