i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
