either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
