Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
