Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
