Pregnant stripper...not hot.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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