You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to make a zoo with you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think I am morally bankrupt
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
