just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
