he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
