you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
