In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
