Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
