Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She's the barista slut.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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