So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
