tell your sister to shave her snatch
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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