i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
