Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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