The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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