my vag is so smooth its legendary
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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