No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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