I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
