careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ketchup is God's man juice
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
