She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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